Kia ora All
For those of you who are working on the land, I hope all is going well as you nurture and tend to your animals, pastures and plantings. Where ever you live, be it urban or rural, isn’t it lovely to feel the warmth of the sun as it climbs higher in the sky again, drawing us outside to connect with our families/children/young people in nature.
August for me has been all about the new trauma informed Understanding & Supporting Behaviour workshops that I have facilitated throughout the region. It’s great to be able to share the understanding that these children and young people we care for, need a different type of parenting; for supporting children needing to recover from developmental trauma.
Why do we need a different type of day-to-day parenting?
According to Dan Hughes, when children feel scared, alone, abandoned, hurt or hungry early in their life, they have no choice but to find ways or adapt behaviour to help them get through these times by relying on themselves.
The signs of these ways of thinking, feeling and behaving are often seen later when children are older and living in different families. They show up as worrying or challenging behaviours that just don’t seem to make sense and make it hard for parents to know how best to care for children. This is especially so during times when the child’s outward behaviour seems to be saying that they don’t want or need the parent and won’t allow the parent close to love them, with a hidden self-belief that, “I’m unlovable”.
Much of traditional day-to-day parenting assumes that the child feels safe at home, trusts their parents and the motives when they are disciplined. This type of parenting also assumes that children learn from consequences, are able to function well with a good degree of independence, and have come to accept their parent’s values, ideals, and goals. When these assumptions don’t seem to work, and with what we know now about developmental trauma and attachment, different strategies need to be applied. These help us as the adult to better connect with the child/young person’s inner world.
Please reach out for support if you are struggling with understanding the behaviours of the children living with you. You can reach me on 027 502 0391 or Fostering Kids NZ 0800 693 323
Kia Kaha, kia manawa nui / take care, stay strong
Woodlands Support Group – This group is meeting again on Thursday 13 September in the Woodlands Church. Morning tea supplied in a very child free setting. If you need support, to unload, upload or just to meet other like-minded people, this is the place to be. Phone Barbara Henry on 027 4369371 for more information.
We have the Importance of Play workshop on Thursday 6 September in Dunedin. This workshop will be a fun learning environment for all who are caring for children and young people. Please register here. Or call Christine on Freephone 0800 100 849.
Play is not just a time filler between learning opportunities – it is learning. This workshop looks at children’s ‘play’. It explores the importance of play, why children play and the learning behind the play experience. It is a workshop for everyone, as play does not or should not stop as we grow. You will have an opportunity to understand different play experiences and how these contribute to a child’s development and future potential. It will provide you with strategies to play with children in a positive way. It will particularly look at sensory play and how this can be a therapeutic tool for a child of any age. You will also have the opportunity to understand how the environment and your interactions during play sets the child on a pathway for future learning and capability.
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